Hey, Hirsute Hipsters: Just Stop It!

Unsolicited advice for men with lots of locks

We gave the male topknot the thumbs-up. We said OK to the burly beard. We even came to accept (reluctantly) the handlebar mustache. But putting them all together—the tonsorial equivalent of jambalaya—is just plain wrong. To those follicular fantasists we say, Man up and pick one.