In July of 2013, rapper Kanye West attacked a paparazzo at LAX, which earned him 250 hours of community service. West has been shaving time off his sentence by teaching classes on fashion and design at the L.A. Trade Technical College, the most recent of which took place last Friday. Ye took the classroom floor for nearly two hours to discuss style, art, and music, although, according to one student who was present for the lecture, “he didn’t teach us specifically anything.”
Comprised completely of real things he’s said in the past, we’ve devised a sample curriculum should he ever abandon his post as a god and take up the humble calling of full-time professor.
Yeezus Walks…The Runway: “Don’t Talk About Style Cause I’ll Embarrass You”
Instructor: Kanye West
A. OFFICE HOURS: Here’s the thing: Don’t talk. Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to people I know. Don’t even talk to yourself.
B. COURSE DESCRIPTION: I’m a creative genius, and there’s no other way to word it. For me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.
C. COURSE OBJECTIVES: Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.
D. COURSE TOPICS:
Week 1: The Three Halves of Style
Skinny pants are rock ‘n’ roll. And big coats are really hip-hop. I’m looking for 50 percent rock ‘n’ roll, 50 percent hip-hop, 50 percent genius.
Week 2: Nudity: The Intersection of Fashion, Religion, and Law
I want to stop using the term ‘fashion’ because Eve made Adam bite an apple, and since then, it’s been illegal to be naked. I’m helping people follow the law in style.
Week 3: Fashion Plagiarism: When Your Ideas Hit Someone Else’s Runway
We brought the leather jogging pants six years ago to Fendi, and they said, ‘No.’ How many motherfuckers you done seen with a jogging pant?
Week 4: Giving Back to Get More
I wanna make uniforms for my high school basketball team through brand Yeezy. I wanna make that one step and then make another step and then eventually do uniforms for the entire city. Then I want those uniforms to be hot and make money, and I eventually want to be the anchor and the force behind a $1 billion company. And I eventually want to be the anchor of the first $1 trillion company.
Week 5: Aspiring to Success. Or, The Power of Jordans, Part 1
No one can say I cannot design or understand how to design a guy’s sneaker. When I was in fourth grade I was drawing Jordans when my mama couldn’t afford them. Getting kicked out of class for drawing them.
Week 6: Abandoning Practicality. Or, The Power of Jordans, Part II
No flip-flops for black dudes. I don’t care where you at. No flip-flops on black dudes. Wear some hot-ass Jordans on the beach.
Week 7: Solid Ideas (and Solid Credentials!) are the Keys to Creativity
I’ve got ideas on color palettes. I’ve got ideas on silhouettes. And I’ve got a million people telling me why I can’t do it. I’m an artist. I went to art college.
Week 8: Santa Knows What’s Up
This [designer] that was talking to me doesn’t make Christmas presents, meaning that nobody was asking for his [stuff] as a Christmas present. If you don’t make Christmas presents, meaning making something that’s so emotionally connected to people, don’t talk to me.
Week 9: The Paparazzi: A Primer
You do help me get money, paparazzi. You help me show people how fresh my outfit is, and that helps me influence people.
Week 10: Designing for Your Own Tastes
This sweater is dope as fuck. That’s like some shit I would wear to the airport.