Go Home Santa Monica, You’re the Drunkest City in California

A new study ranked the state’s most inebriated cities, and SaMo and Pasadena both cracked the top ten

It looks like there’s a beachside celebration in order, because Santa Monica was just crowned the drunkest city in all of California. Congratulations, that’s a huge honor! We should all—I don’t know—pop a bottle or six about it and head down to The Misfit later. (Is that what Santa Monica people say?)

Some residents might see the distinction as a negative thing, but being slapped with any superlative—whether it’s good or bad—is at least memorable. Also, Santa Monica is no longer only known for being the “city with maybe the most beachside poke shops per square block” or “California’s #1 Ferris wheel-centric city that also has a pier.”

This very non-scientific albeit hilarious study was performed and published by the website RoadSnacks. The site refers to its particular brand of silly list making as “the other side of regional infotainment” and intends to create “bite-sized snacks of shareable information.” Not only are its “10 Drunkest Cities in This State” posts incredibly popular among readers, there is an entire section of the website simply labeled “Drunkest.”

To calculate the final drunk statistics, the social scientists over at RoadSnacks looked at the number of liquor stores per capita, number of bars and pubs per capita, number of wineries per capita, amount of geo-tagged tweets using certain drunk keywords, and then—this is where it gets a little bit confusing—divorce rate. “Plus, we thought why not add in a stereotype?” says the post’s author Bud Tapman, obviously implying that divorce and alcohol are causally related but never explaining why or how.

Even though the research is intentionally unscientific, it’s still going to be fun talking smack and staging mock interventions for our Santa Monica friends over the next three weeks until we all forgot this ever happened. But until then—clean up your act, Santa Monica, you have children living there.