I lost sight of reality when I moved to L.A. I left Philadelphia for California when I was 23, and I spent my money on throwback jerseysāthese older uniforms that everybody and their mom was buying. They were $300 to $400 a pop. I felt like I needed them all with a hat to match. I thought to myself, āThis is not how itās going to be forever, Kevin. You need to make adjustments and act accordingly.ā So after dumping off a tremendous amount of money, it was time to smarten upābecause if you donāt smarten up, this town will eat you alive. But if you look at pictures of me from back in the day, itād be tough for you to find a picture where I didnāt have a throwback jersey on.
When I first got here, Judd Apatow cast me on a TV show called North Hollywood and asked me to move into my costar Jason Segelās apartment. Judd said, āKevin, instead of you staying in a hotel, I want you to stay with Jason.ā We were up-and-coming actors, and the whole idea was for us to get to know each other before we started taping. So me and Jason were roommates for about three-and-a-half weeks. I had my own roomāwe definitely didnāt sleep in the same bedābut he did make me pancakes one day. It was pretty dope. Itās one of those āRemember whenā¦?ā stories that we have under our belts. Now we look back and we laugh, because thatās the type of thing you go through on your way up. It was refreshing.
For probably two years now Iāve had a driver because I got a DUI. I vowed never to put myself in that situation again, hence the āmobile officeā: a Mercedes-Benz Sprinter. It seats 10 to 12 people, but I gutted it. I put in a big-screen TV, a limo divider, carpet, Wi-Fi, an Apple TV, a PS4āyou name it, I have it. The seats are massage chairs that recline. I even sleep in there. But if you ask me how to get somewhere, I canāt tell you nothing. All I know is Ventura Boulevard and Sunset Boulevard. Once I was at the Burger King at Sunset and La Brea, and as Iām walking out, thereās a homeless guy staring at my car. I started talking trash to myself, like, āThis guy is weird.ā He came over, kicked my car, and then took off. It was scary. Not that Iām scared, because Iām notāIām a thugābut I was a little scared.
I wish I had some cooler stories, like that I was climbing over the Hollywood sign and there was an ant that crawled up my pants and bit me on the butt or something. But Iām a homebody. Once in a while I go out with my lady. We go eat, I come back home, and then itās dad time. My two kids are homebodies like me. I put a bunch of money into making our house cool for them: Electricity! Gas! Food! All the things we need to live. They have all these toys, too. Weāve got a theater in our house. I tell them, āGo in there and watch a movie. Weāve got a pool. Go jump in it. Go. There are things that you have here so you donāt have to bother me. Thatās the reason Dad did all this stuff.ā
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