The Millionaire Matchmaker’s L.A. Dating Survival Guide

Patti Stanger, formerly the hit show’s host, shares her strategies for finding love in this town
(Photo: Getty Images)

Patti Stanger is the CEO and Founder of Beverly Hills-based and starred in Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker for eight seasons. She is also the author of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate and a partner in Eye of Love pheromone-infused fragrances.

Stanger is also an expert on surviving the singles scene and is sharing some of her wisdom here.

1. There’s a line in dating that I will take to my grave. My grandmother said it, my mother said it: You only get the love you think you deserve.

2. Those who travel in packs do not get as much attention as the person who goes out alone. The secret is that there are no friends around you who are going to disrupt meeting this [person]. It’s better to be alone, and you decide yay or nay.

3. The more normal you are, the more likely you are to get into a serious relationship: “Hi, I’m Dave. I live around the corner. Can I buy you a drink?” Try to be consistent with your personality.

4. Bartenders make the best matchmakers. Tip the bartender. Lean in and say, “Hey, is there a regular here that you know is single and that you think I would be great with?” They’re bodyguards, they’re matchmakers, they’re therapists all rolled into one. So be nice to your bartender.

5. Get out of your neighborhood. Who says you can’t live in L.A. and go to Calabasas for drinks at night? Why can’t you go downtown? How about spending the evening in Santa Monica or going down to Manhattan Beach?

6. You can’t walk in with the expectation, like, “Tonight’s the night I’m gonna meet ‘the’ person.” It’s like being on vacation. When we’re on vacation, we don’t expect shit. And then what happens? You end up having a fling because you are detached from the outcome. You’re not making it Serious City. You’re just letting what happens happen.

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