You Want to Do What to My Where?

Yep, there are even procedures for the naughty bits
“I want to be 16 again, down there…” This is how one patient expressed what she hoped Dr. David Matlock, a pioneer in laser vaginal rejuvenation and aesthetic vaginoplasty, could do to overhaul her hooha. “Laser vaginal rejuvenation is for sexual gratification,” Dr. Matlock explains. “Vaginoplasty is for the aesthetic enhancement of the vulva structures.”

It turns out that much like stomach crunches, those “toning” Kegel exercises pregnant women (and Cosmo readers) are instructed to do can go only so far. Those who opt for vaginal rejuvenation—sort of a tummy tuck for your sugar walls—want a quicker, more drastic fix. Dr. Matlock surgically reconfigures a woman’s vaginal opening from, say, a size 4 (as in number of kids) back to a pre-baby (even pre-intercourse) size 0. The downsizing, Dr. Matlock says, is intended to improve a woman’s sex life—and as you might expect, enhance the pleasure of her male partner.

Then there’s the outside. Dr. Matlock’s aesthetic vaginoplasty procedure reshapes women who want their personal Georgia O’Keeffe painting to look more like something in a Penthouse spread—a majora (and minora) feat. Some patients bring their husbands’ porn mags with them—pulling down their waistbands and pointing to themselves, then back to the centerfold—to demonstrate the look they want. Less camel toe? More camel toe? It seems that even down in these parts, cleavage is everything.

Surgeons from around the world pay $65,000 a pop to observe Dr. Matlock’s finely tuned technique during an hourlong procedure in which he slices, stitches, staples, and cauterizes delicate vulvar structures. He claims the results last forever—or at least until the birth of the next child.