Classic Yelp Reviews of L.A. Freeways, Part I

Shockingly, they’re not all bad
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It’s one thing to check Waze before you brave the 210. It’s quite another thing to Yelp about the experience afterward. But there is no shortage of drivers, in L.A. and beyond, who have weighed in on the 210, 101, and the rest of their congested sisters (though not all are negative—except for the 405, of course). Here are our favorite reviews of the aforementioned freeways (check back later for more freeway Yelpings).

The 210:
“I feel like with traffic getting worse, the amount of people using their cell phones/texting on the roads has increased, as well, which leads to a worsening traffic situation. Just look around next time you’re sitting in traffic and see how many people are texting and driving! It makes the traffic worse… :(” —Grigor K., Los Angeles (1 star)

The 405:
“The absolute worst. Only take it if you have to. Things I’d rather do than sit in 405 traffic:

1. Eat a bunch of glitter to see if I start farting rainbows.
2. Super glue my balls to my chest and attempt to do sit-ups
3. engage in conversation with the Scientology people hanging in Hollywood blvd.
4. Meth”

—Benjamin P. Granada Hills (1 star)

“I don’t understand how you people haven’t nuked this highway and just started over… I need one of you clever Yelpers to put the 405 sign on an image of Edvard Munch’s The Scream.” —Bruce K., Charlotte, N.C. (2 stars)

“Ya’ know, this freeway serves as absolute proof that God has a sense of humor. It serves as a virtual playground for Beelzebub and is the perfect example of God’s test of faith and endurance through Job within the Bible’s Old Testament… Next time, remind me to bring my own KY. Seriously.” —Kenny G., Silver Lake (1 star)

“I love watching strangers masterbate [sic] in their car! This is the best place for that in LA!!” —Dan C., Los Angeles (5 stars)

The 101:
“If Satan decided to get into civil engineering, this would be his thesis project.”—Sebastian K., Brooklyn (1 star)

“I like 101. It goes through Hollywood and goes by downtown LA for a very scenic drive (I find LA to be very beautiful, up yours) and if done properly, it’s a nice shortcut from 5 if you’re heading south.” —Greg B., San Diego (4 stars

 

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