Valentine Schmalentine: Fun To-Dos on Singles Awareness Day

Screw Valentine’s Day. Being single never felt so good!

Every Hallmark holiday risks alienating someone. Christmas and people who don’t like shopping, Mardi Gras/St. Patrick’s Day and sober people. But the biggest offender is St. Valentine’s Day a.k.a. Single Awareness Day (SAD). Nothing like cutesy pink and red decorations, exorbitant prix-fixe romantic restaurant dinners, and a racket on chocolates and flowers to make one feel grateful for being single the sting of singlehood. But don’t let all those smiley, PDA-happy couples stop you from making the day your own. Here are a bunch o’ “Valentine Schmalentine” options you and your single friends can do.

Big Bar’s annual prom is always a blowout and this year’s Bollywood theme, from 6pm to 12am, will take it to another level, literally. The colorful, musical night — held under a 30-foot-tall elephant — promises Far East mystics, a henna artist, a custom gin and tonic bar as well as South Asian-inspired food and drink menus. Mango Lassi Fizz, anyone? And you definitely don’t have to be a couple to partake. Come in dancing with your crew in your best Bollywood finery. Maybe you’ll even be crowned Prom King/Queen of 2013.

Get down with other stylish singles at One-Eyed Gypsy’s Bootlegger’s Foxtrot from 7pm to 2am. A live jazz band will set the raucous tone while adventurous partygoers will pick a number out of a bowl and dance with anyone holding the matching number. Fun! From 7 to 9pm, single cans of beer go for a buck while champagne cocktails are $7 all night. Don’t worry if you don’t want to dance. There’s always Skee-Ball in the back.

For Valentine’s weekend (February 14-17), the Montage Beverly Hills is throwing a special Chocolate Lover’s Tea from noon to 4pm. Gather round the girls (or guys) and take comfort in a menu of bonbons, napoleons and all that chocolate goodness for $55 ($33 for kids). Call (310) 499-4199 to reserve a spot.

Osteria La Buca on Melrose Avenue wants to treat you and your friends to free prosecco for its “Table of Three” dinner in its upstairs pasta room. For $30 a person, it’s all you can eat AND drink. That means gorging yourself on bottomless spaghetti and Italian red wine. Reservations: (323) 462-1900.

For V Day, LACMA is keeping its doors open til 9pm. Book the Late Night Art + Love Hurts Tour where you can take in the dark film artifacts of the Stanley Kubrick exhibit (“Come play with us” twins, eeeeek!) as well as heartbreak-inspired artworks and then finish off with the RED pop-up dinner or at Ray’s and Stark Bar.

Book the “Pick Your Poison” package for your gang at Santa Monica’s Shore Hotel. You’ll start the evening with one of those crazy Beach Barcycle bar tours and end the night with a bottle of champagne back at your room. The package starts at $299 and runs through February 28.

The PaliHotel has its own “Singles Awareness Day” package called “The Double.” For $249, you and your bff get a one-night stay (twin beds), a bottle of Innocent Bystander Pink Moscato, two 60-minute Thai Thai massages, Dean and Deluca goodies on arrival and VIP entry to the lounge at Palihouse on February 14 or 15. Being single never felt so good.