Top Chef 10: Ten Things We Learned From the Semifinals

The chefs go to Vegas and do magic tricks with rib-eyes or something

In honor of the 13th season of Bravo’s beloved cooking competition show running up and down the California coast, we shall, every week, outline the 10 (get it?) things we learned from watching each episode. Last night’s episode of Top Chef taught us plenty. Here, our top 10 learnable moments:

10. Magic is still super, super lame
Unless we’re talking about Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale’s collective opus, The Prestige. Phenomenal movie.

9. Orange County’s food game is better than we thought
Oh don’t act like you didn’t stereotype Amar because of his Laguna Beach digs either.

8. We should be covering more animals in other animal’s skins
A little Silence-of-the-Lambs-y, but awesome nonetheless.

7. The ancient ruling class loved trendy hot sauce
You see the bottle of Sriracha on the royalty shelf? That was weird.

6. Potato rings should supplant onion rings on every menu
We need to start a petition.

5. Your high school chemistry teacher was right to not let you play with liquid nitrogen even though you thought it was, like, super cool
That giant tank of death liquid was real close to slipping out of Marjorie’s hand and killing all the judges.

4. Marjorie has never taken a French class
If Ludo Lefebvre heard her say “Duck A La Orange” he would have literally imploded from all the built up francophilic rage.

3. The suits in a deck of cards were based on social classes????
That’s just a useful factoid. Thank you, Bravo.

2. Jeremy could make a bike tire crudo and win this thing in a blowout
He put pickled grapes on a poached chicken thigh and blew some of the culinary world’s finest minds. This dude is unstoppable. If Jean-Georges’ doesn’t bring him in to run his new Beverly Hills spot, we should cal for a boycott.

1. Criss Angel was, is, and always will be the best magician