Top Chef 10: Ten Things We Learned From Restaurant Wars L.A.

R.I.P., P.F.L.

In honor of the 13th season of Bravo’s beloved cooking competition show running up and down the California coast, we shall, every week, outline the 10 (get it?) things we learned from watching each episode. Last night’s episode of Top Chef taught us plenty. Here, our top 10 learnable moments:

10. Lesley Bargar Suter rightfully loves tripe
We see you out there boss lady!

9. Foams will never, ever, ever be cool again (they were cool at one point, right?)
And why is that the only thing that crawled out of ten-year molecular gastronomy house fire? Let’s bring back liquid nitrogen or isomalt or anything that doesn’t remind you of eating your own spit.

8. Bill Chait is very polite
Bill, my man, you are a Top Chef judge, emphasis on the word “judge.” You are literally here to criticize dishes. If the trout was overcooked, scream your complaints into the camera like Padma does.

7. Crudos are the new pork belly
Seriously, all crudos taste the same. Tom calls it out, but like eight episodes too late.

6. The curse of the risotto lives
Jeremy, you were my rock… and then you tried to slowly draw starch from rice, and, instead, slowly screwed yourself over.

5. Caffeinated squirrels are erratic
But, according to Isaac Toups, if you can harness the energy from said hopped-up rodent, they can do a hell of a job running a restaurant. Or something like that.

4. Recipe for Deception‘s terribleness makes you appreciate how good Top Chef is
That isn’t specific to this episode, just an observation that’s been brewing for a while.

3. PFL didn’t make a bad dish, the food world just isn’t ready to accept the dessert salad. But one day…
“It felt stupid,” said Gail. Bet she’s going to feel stupid when dessert salad becomes a necessary course on every tasting menu in America #DessertSalad2016

2. Being a server for Padma Lakshmi seems like a nightmare
Did you see the guy try and take a plate and she was like, “just leave us, for a while” and then mean-mugged him for a full two seconds while rolling her eyes at the camera like we all somehow sympathize with her more than the dude working for a living?

1. There are no more L.A. cheftestants left, and you should be mad about it
Hey, when’s Mei Lin’s going to open a restaurant?