Top Chef 10: Ten Things We Learned From The Season 13 Finale

SPOILER ALERT: Phillip Frankland Lee, much to our dismay, does not win
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In honor of the 13th season of Bravo’s beloved cooking competition show running up and down the California coast, we shall, every week, outline the 10 (get it?) things we learned from watching each episode. Last night’s episode of Top Chef taught us plenty. Here, our top 10 learnable moments:


10. When Jeremy gets nervous, he moves like the whacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man—or so Amar claims
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9. Tom Colicchio has never cooked us dinner
You probably assumed that, but it’s never been more painfully obvious than after last night’s episode. Tom we’ll be here man. Got a sweet gas range and an oven with a broken temperature gauge with your name on it.

8. Amar Santana is the first ever Latino finalist on Top Chef
Big ups, Amar!

7. Angelina is the world’s greatest sous chef
This is the second time in a row where Angelina, who lost to human-bag-of-chicken-nuggets Wesley True way back in episode six, has been chosen over Isaac Toups, James Beard Award winner Karen Akunowicz, and God’s gift to gastronomy Phillip Frankland Lee. But damn can she bang out prep work.

6. Charlie Palmer low-key still hates Amar
How many lighting techs do you think they needed to counteract all that shade Palmer was throwing?

5. Oh shit. Jeremy just single-handedly brought molecular gastronomy back
Acetate foie gras cylinder? Nitrogen-frozen trout skin?? Spherified honey thing??? It’s back, baby! Someone call up Marcel Vigneron and tell him he can put isomalt encapuslated vinaigrette and stuff on the menu at Wolf.

4. The risotto curse hath been broken
Though Amar couldn’t pull off the win, he did plunge the Wooden Spoon of Truth into Gabblefroth the Troll King’s truffle-black heart, thus breaking the thousand-year-old reality TV curse on risotto. So that’s dope.

3. Jean-Georges Vongerichten is, indeed, Jeremy’s bro
Breaux.

2. Jeremy is Top Chef  and it is the happiest moment of his life AND HE WILL NOT LET YOU SEE HIM CRY DAMMIT
Fight it, Jeremy. Bros don’t cry. What would JGV think? But seriously, talking about your daughter was a very touching moment and we’re incredibly happy for you.

1. Life without Top Chef is more or less meaningless
And we’ll be damned if we waste another minute watching Recipe for Deception.

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