Top Chef 10: Ten Things We Learned From Last Night’s Episode 13

The toast craze and French classicism hit the small screen
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“Toast” is the fancy foreign word for crostini
Not sure what the language of origin is, but people seem to love the new marketing gimmick.

Jeremy’s surfer accent has gotten stronger as the season progresses
By the finale he’s going to be addressing the judges with a vocal fry-filled “Sup, brahs?”

Crudo is a get out of jail free card
When in doubt, give someone a plate of raw fish. Boss coming over for dinner? Make them some poke. Get pulled over for speeding? Hand the officer a beautifully articulated snapper ceviche and they’ll send you on your way.

Cheese and seafood will never be fetch
Oh you thought you were slick, huh Carl? We saw your hesitation when Padma asked burrata and shrimp was a legit Calabrian thing.

The cheftestants don’t want ovens, they want to win Top Chef, dammit
Jeremy won an oven valued at $16,000. You know what he didn’t win? THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE WON’T GET KICKED OFF THE ISLAND. He didn’t even pretend to be excited about the oven. This dude works for Jean-Georges, you think he’s short on ovens in his life?

Hubert Keller and Thomas Keller are different people
Or are they…?

Chefs get real emotional about classic French cuisine
Chris Cosentino looked like he was either about to cry or strangle someone during his interview.

Hidden Valley ranch bought ads for the entire season of Last Chance Kitchen
It’s such a baller move that we’re never going back to Wishbone. And props to the person in the marketing department who was brave enough to make a powerpoint about investing their entire marketing budget into a post Top Chef web series.
“So, Karen, if I’m understanding you correctly, you’re saying we invest all of our money into one semi-major network reality show?”
Karen: “No, no, no, no. We’re going to put all of our money into the eight minute long web series that comes AFTER the semi-major network reality show. We’ll make world-renowned chefs cook with bottled ranch dressing, it’ll be great.”

Harold Dieterle is
I know what you’re thinking: “If Harold Dieterle was a real person, then why haven’t I thought about him in 13 years?” And, believe me, we totally get it, but there’s video evidence to prove that he still—most definitely—is.

An episode of Top Chef sans PFL is an episode of Top Chef not worth watching
There’s no more conflict and it sucks. I’m boycotting the show until they bring him back.

 

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