I Just Bought Way Too Many Girl Scout Cookies… Now What?

Five recipes that somehow make these gluttonous treats even more decadent

Over the weekend, there was a knock at the door. It was my adorable little seven-year-old neighbor, Emma. Hmm, I didn’t know she was a Girl Scout… I wonder what she… oh. Crap. Girl Scout cookies. You wicked temptress! Yes, I’ll take some, b-b-but only to support you, not because I’m going to shamefully devour them all as soon as I close this door, undoing all the hard work I’ve been putting in at the gym. And everyone knows you can’t just get one box, especially when Samoas, Tagalongs, and Do-si-dos are in a constant battle to win the coveted title of “Randy’s Favorite Fatty Fat Fat Charity-Supporting Treat.”

Then, the little devil and angel on each shoulder teamed up on me: “Well, you know, they’re only sold for a limited time. Plus they freeze really well! And it is supporting a good cause; look at that little innocent smile on Emma’s face.” Alright, alright, shut up! No, not you, Emma. I was talking to the… never mind. Let me get my wallet.

Needless to say, I ended up with way more Girl Scout cookies than I should ever have in my possession. (Which is to say more than zero.) By the time I get about halfway through my gargantuan stash, I figure I’ll get pretty tired of just eating ‘em as is. (That’s sooooo pedestrian, am I right?) That’s why I looked around teh interwebs to find ways to mix them into other recipes that are even more decadent and ridiculously hedonistic.

I’m sorry. And you’re welcome. Blame Emma.

Chocolate Thin Mint Ice Cream recipe
Homemade Chocolate Thin Mint Ice Cream
[Life Made Simple]
They’re called Thin Mints; they can’t possibly be bad for you, right? Well, just in case, let’s crush em up and mix them into some awesome homemade chocolate ice cream.

Do-si-dos Pie
[Serious Eats]
Egad. If I somehow have two untouched boxes of Do-si-dos left laying around, I’ll be sure to crush them up to make this (what I can only imagine to be) orgasmic pie crust, filled with peanut butter mousse, topped with more Do-si-dos. God, I hope my trainer never sees this blog post.

Samoa Cupcakes
[Java Cupcake]
I feel like this recipe should be rewritten to include “Step 1: Change into sweatpants.” There’s no way in hell I’m leaving my house after eating one or two (orthreeshutupdon’tjudgeme) of these, so I may as well get comfy.

Spiked Tagalong Milkshake
[Serious Eats]
A milkshake made with Tagalongs and bourbon? Oh, it’s like Julie Andrews is singing, “These are a few of my favorite things!” right into my blender. Hell, I’m going to wash out an old Jamba Juice cup and put this in there, and play it off like it’s a smoothie; no one at the office will suspect a thing.

Savannah Smiles Frozen Lemonade Tarts
[The Old Hen]
Oooh, lemons! There’s fruit, so that means it’s kinda healthy, right? …RIGHT?!