Our 15 Worst Caption Ideas For Phoenix Magazine’s September “Best New Restaurants” Cover

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This (pictured) arrived in the mail today and the fish slung around the chef’s collar inspired quite the standup routine around the Los Angeles magazine offices. The only thing fishier than this cover is our own attempts at captioning it. It’s all in good fun. After all, we can’t blame Phoenix—they’re from Arizona! (And the yuks continue…) As a magazine that’s also obsessed with food, we’ve had our fair share of…creative covers. Check out our archive of the last 50 years. (Orson Welles and a palm-tree cake, anyone?)

OK, here goes. Add your own captions in the comments! The best—er, worst—submission gets the very issue pictured here, signed by us. Lucky you.

A look that says, “I don’t give a carp!”

In fashion, one day you’re in, the next day you’re trout.

I once caught a necktie THIS BIG!

If only he’d worn his herringbone jacket.

Is that a fish as a necktie or are you just the worst idea ever?

We’re on a seafood diet: We see food cover, we say NO.

Because when I think Phoenix, I think seafood! (as a necktie)

A magazine needs this cover like a chef needs a fish necktie.

You should have seen the necktie I threw back!

Queer Eye for the Fish Necktie.

This magazine cover really tanks.

The worst day wearing a fish necktie is still better than the best day in orange Crocs.

We’ve heard of snappy dressers, but not a snapper dresser!

Sturgeon: the touch, the feel, the fabric of our lives.

We can’t wait to try his pan-roasted necktie.