Those of us who value good, real food will likely remember the wonderfully scathing review of Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen & Bar from NY Times restaurant critic Pete Wells that came out last November. Between taking jabs at the food—like asking why the watermelon margarita “glows like nuclear waste” and “tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde” or why the calamari was simply “a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice”—Mr. Wells also brought attention to Mr. Fieri’s strange and over-the-top descriptions such as the “deep-fried ‘boulder’ of ice cream [that’s] the size of a standard scoop” or a burger topped with “SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce“.
(Seriously, WTF is donkey sauce, and why on earth would someone want to eat something called that? Escoffier is likely rolling over in his grave.)
Carrying over the fun, a programmer in NYC named Bryan Mytko was keen enough to notice that Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar had its web home at GuysAmerican.com, but somehow completely failed to also register the seemingly necessary GuysAmericanKitchenAndBar.com. Naturally, Mytko snagged it up and put up a mock menu that beautifully derides the guiding “vision” behind Guy’s latest moneymaker.
There’s the “Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam” Appetizer: “We take 38 oz of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat, lambast it with honey pickle wasabi and pile drive it into an Ed Hardy-designed bucket. Sprayed with Axe and finished with a demiglaze of thick & funky Mushroom Dribblins.”
And who could resist a dish with a name like “Panamania!” It’s described as “deep-fried snake with a printed out picture of David Lee Roth stapled on it and a sparkler sticking out of each eye. Served with a side of Bud Light you have to wring out of a Hawaiian shirt.”
The dishes and descriptions put up by Mytko were hilarious… unfortunately, they weren’t his jokes. Twitter user “Amanda Hugankiss” (@a_girl_irl) pointed out that the fake menu items were likely lifted from her own tweets, as well as those of fellow Twitter users @DinkMagic, @autisticpet, and @dadboner, without attribution.
thanks for stealing my jokes and making them terrible you dumb shithead @bryanmytko
— Amanda Hugankiss (@a_girl_irl) February 19, 2013
A full graphic documenting the alleged plagiarism has of course been posted here on imgur.com. Oh interwebs, how do we love you? Let us count the ways.