So, the epic Frito-Lay “Do Us A Flavor” contest has come to an end. Of the three experimental chip varieties—Sriracha, Chicken & Waffles, and Cheesy Garlic Bread—the American public has chosen its winner: Cheesy Garlic Bread. Seriously, guys? That flavor is just one processed powdery sprinkle away from, say, sour cream and cheddar—which already exists. With all the success of “Flamin’ Hot” snacks, we would have thought that sriracha was a shoe-in. And did you even try Chicken & Waffles? Sure, it sounded weird—but dammit if those things didn’t taste just like the delicious sweet n’ salty Roscoe’s classic.
But no, you went with the familiar choice. Is it tasty? Sure. But it’s also expected. Are you even aware how far behind we are as a nation in the worldwide potato chip flavor game? Scotland has haggis chips—HAGGIS CHIPS! A recent chip-focused “art” exhibit showcased international flavors such as Tangy Wild Tomato & Pepper Leaf, BBQ ribs, BLT, pickles, hotdog—yes, hotdog—and it was great!
America, this was our chance to step it up, and we failed. No, we’re not mad—we’re just disappointed. [*crunch]