We Rewrote Our Headlines to Fit Facebook’s New Anti-Clickbait Policy, and You’ll Never Believe What Happened Next

Two can play at this game, Mark Zuckerberg
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Facebook announced last week that they’re cracking down on clickbait in the News Feed. By “clickbait,” they’re talking about “headlines that intentionally leave out crucial information or mislead people, forcing people to click to find out the answers.” That means that your News Feed will no longer be a steady stream of—

But for actual journalists (like us), getting you to “click to find out the answers” is kind of our job. Of course, we’re not writing anything deliberately misleading, so our content will hopefully still show up in your Facebook feed alongside Aunt Karen’s share-if-you-think-Hillary-is-the-devil-incarnate posts. But it never hurts to be absolutely, totally beyond reproach. That’s why we’ve taken a handful of our recent headlines and stripped them of any and all journalistic pretension as a failsafe against the anti-clickbait algorithm. It’s not like the results will bring you to tears or anything, but let’s just say the last one could change your life FOREVER.

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