We Need to Talk About This Wild 1980s L.A. Rams Rap Song

”Let’s Ram It” is hilarious, cringeworthy, and definitely not going to be the Super Bowl anthem
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The Rams are going to the Super Bowl! We’re excited because they’re the hometown team, sure, but also because their success seems to have triggered the Cheeto in Chief. And now the news has brought this deep internet gem into our lives.

Please enjoy the 1985 rap(?) song “Let’s Ram It.”

“If you do it just right, you can Ram it all night,” the group of then players performing the song intone.

It’s not exactly clear if the lyrics were really intended to be so… sexual, but wow is that how they sound. There is also very stiff, uncomfortable dancing around the team’s old Anaheim stadium, a saxophone solo, and guest appearances by cheerleaders with hair teased to truly gravity-defying heights.

Below, the full text of this masterwork of wordplay, thanks to Genius.

Chorus
Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it
We know how to Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
Ram it

Jackie Slater
I’m Big Bad Jackie and I’m starting us off
The Rams getting down so nobody’s soft
And don’t you worry cuz the Rams are rappin’
When game time comes we’ll get back to zappin’
We can’t sing and our dance is not pretty
But we’ll do our best for the team and the city
So get on your feet and clap your hands
Let’s Ram it right now with the L.A. Rams

Nolan Cromwell
Hollywood Hanson, Dodge City tough
If you throw it my way, it’s gonna get rough
I like to Ram it as you can see
Nobody likes Rammin’ any more than me

Gary Jeter
They call me Jeter, nobody dresses sweeter
But under this cool is a quarterback mistreater
I come from the end, looking for the sack
I don’t stop coming until I put them on their back

Norwood Vann
This is Limousine Willie, my moves are like dreams
They call me the demon on special teams
I know how to rush from the toes to the head
When I pull the trigger, I’ll knock you dead

Dennis Harrah
I’m a mountain man from West VA
They call me Herc and I came to play
I learned long ago to ram it just right
You can ram it all day and ram it all night

Chorus
Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it
We know how to Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
Ram it

David Hill
This is Big Daddy Hill take a look at my stock
I catch what they throw to me and I like to block
I’m quick off the line as I can be
Cuz I don’t want Dick running over me

Jim Collins
This is Babyface, and I don’t yield
I’m a tackling fool on the football field
From the Jersey Shore to Malibu Bay
If you run at me you’ll have a bad day

Ron Brown
This is RB, you know Speedball Brown
The fastest man in the whole damn town
Cars and ladies are a part of his creed
But more than that, I feel the need for speed

Tony Hunter
This is Catcher out to take a walk
With shades on, I can catch a BB in the dark
So now you’re ready and I’m sure you will agree
Ramming is run when you Ram with me

Chorus
Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it
We know how to Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
Ram it
Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
Ram it

Barry Redden
Redden here I’m a pumpin’ eyed man
If Eric can’t do it I will and I can
I’m strong as you come, but I’ve got a brain
And stoppin’ me is like stoppin’ a train

Carl Ekern
I’m Carl E, the General of the D
I make the calls and coach the LB
This motorcycle’s got style and class
If you come my way I’ll knock you on your ass

Johnnie Johnson
JJ’s my name, intimidating
Pass it my way and I’ll see you later
I’m quick on the key, the ladies agree
Before you know it they’re Ramming with me

LeRoy Irvin
The Iceman cometh, LeRoy is my name
I cover the corner, interception’s my game
Score more than anybody else on the D
Cuz I move like a cat as you can see

Eric Dickerson
The guys call me Dick instead of Dickerson
I lead the range, I’m the Rams top gun
They say I’m smooth as a runner can be
Even Sweetness and the others are talkin’ ‘bout me
I like to dance and have a lot of fun
When it comes to ladies, want a brainy one
But enough about me we here to ram it you see
If you ram it just right, you can ram it all night

Chorus
Ram it. If you know how to Ram it, just Ram it
We know how to Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
We’re going to Ram it. Just Ram it. Everybody Ram it
We’ll be rocking L.A., so let’s Ram it today. Just Ram it
Ram it
If you do it just right, you can Ram it all night

 


RELATED: The Rams Are the Resistance Now


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