President Biden Pardons Everyone for Federal Simple Weed Possession!

Fulfilling a campaign promise, Biden freed untold numbers of marijuana enthusiasts from the clutches of draconian federal law

In a banner move for both cannabis and freedom, President Joe Biden on Thursday pardoned everyone in American who’s found themselves brought up on federal charges for simple possession of marijuana.

In the official proclamation of the landmark executive order, Biden stated, “Pursuant to this proclamation, the Attorney General, acting through the Pardon Attorney, shall administer and effectuate the issuance of certificates of pardon to eligible applicants who have been charged or convicted for the offense of simple possession of marijuana in violation of the Controlled Substances Act.”

In plainer English that any 420 aficionado can decipher, a Biden tweet stated, “As I’ve said before, no one should be in jail just for using or possessing marijuana. Today, I’m taking steps to end our failed approach. Allow me to lay them out.”

“First: I’m pardoning all prior federal offenses of simple marijuana possession,” the statement continued. “There are thousands of people who were previously convicted of simple possession who may be denied employment, housing, or educational opportunities as a result. My pardon will remove this burden.”

Now that Biden has removed some of the legal onus from the shoulders of the casual pot fancier, he urged U.S. governors to back his play on the state level, tweeting, “I’m calling on governors to pardon simple state marijuana possession offenses. Just as no one should be in a federal prison solely for possessing marijuana, no one should be in a local jail or state prison for that reason, either.”

Biden is also directing Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra and U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland to “initiate the process of reviewing how marijuana is scheduled under federal law,” pointing out that, “We classify marijuana at the same level as heroin – and more serious than fentanyl. It makes no sense.”

The president’s tweet-announcement concluded with his acknowledgment that the national persecution of pot users has been outrageously weighted against minorities.

“Sending people to jail for possessing marijuana has upended too many lives—for conduct that is legal in many states. That’s before you address the clear racial disparities around prosecution and conviction. Today, we begin to right these wrongs.”

In an ancillary statement on Thursday, the U.S. Department of Justice said it “will expeditiously administer the President’s proclamation, which pardons individuals who engaged in simple possession of marijuana, restoring political, civil, and other rights to those convicted of that offense.”

And, says the DOJ, federally-busted stoners won’t have to wait long: “In coming days, the Office of the Pardon Attorney will begin implementing a process to provide impacted individuals with certificates of pardon.”

But that’s not all.

“Also, in accordance with the President’s directive, Justice Department officials will work with our colleagues at the Department of Health and Human Services as they launch a scientific review of how marijuana is scheduled under federal law.”

Biden promised to decriminalize pot when he was on the campaign trail, for those who aren’t sure if they really remembered that or not.

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