Twitter doesn’t always have to be a fetid sewer of ad hominem attacks, political extremism and cultural panic. On Monday, for instance, Hipstercrite blogger Lauren Modery asked folks in the ‘verse to tell her about their strangest celebrity encounters—and hundreds of revealing and bizarre and touching anecdotes have poured in ever since.
We’ve put together a sampler of some of our favorite tales. Note to the famous: Los Angeles has not even tried to fact-check any of this, so please bring your complaints to the attention of the original posters.
First up, it seems Mark Ruffalo might be in the Tarantino class of totally well-adjusted and successful foot fetishists… Or maybe he’s just a Sex and the City fan?
— Isabel Sandoval (@Isabelvsandoval) January 26, 2022
OMG, he did!
Of the many Alec Baldwin tales that surfaced, these seem the least actionable.
I worked at the Easthampton Star (local paper of the Hamptons) for a short spell and he once delivered his pages-long, single-spaced, printed letter to the editor in person because his internet was down. He was big mad about some local ordinance. He seemed SO SHORT. And big mad
— SchiaffoSuz (@caedsmama) January 25, 2022
How much coke is too much coke? This much coke.
Vegas club in ‘09. Me and a friend met Suge Knight. He was with a few Bloods. We had a table next to them. My coked-up friend said to Suge, “I know you killed 2Pac.” Suge smiled and puffed on a cigar. 10 minutes later, a Blood told us to “get the fuck out the club.” We did.
— art tavana (@arttavana) January 25, 2022
Perhaps the most Sean Penn thing Sean Penn ever did:
Sean Penn and a person who appeared to be a manager or other person he had a business relationship with sat next to me at a restaurant. They ordered water and a single plate of mashed potatoes which they shared slowly and in near complete silence. It was so weirdly unsettling.
— ErinSiobhan (@ErinSiobhan) January 25, 2022
“Crispin Hellion Glover’s planned trilogy of blatant weirdness continues with a second installment, It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine.” — Laura Kern, New York Times
Crispin Glover sorta kidnapped me during an interview, forced me to watch his indie drama about a cerebral palsy-afflicted former mental hospital shut-in (in his bedroom no less). Then showed me his prized possession: an antique diorama of diseased eyeballs
— Chris Lee (@__ChrisLee) January 26, 2022
Was it the poetry or Jared Leto that turned them off?
I met Jared Leto one time when I was homeless. He was outside a bookstore sitting in the curb looking sad. He asked if me and boyfriend wanted to come to a poetry reading and we said "no"
— Amanda PallMallmer (@fudgeslacker) January 25, 2022
Yikes! This would be around one year after his first murder.
If notorious counts as celebrity, then my doubles tennis match in ‘79 against Jeffrey Dahmer and his Dad would count. His Dad ran the local Company League. Jeffrey would fill in occasionally for his Dad’s usual partner. He was just… weird. Luckily, I survived.
— C.E. Indeed (@CeIndeed) January 26, 2022
Although Blind Fury is the superior Rutger Hauer “Blind” vehicle, this is still awesome.
Had a few in 40+ years. But this I’ll never forget. Rutger Hauer was our star on the movie “Blind Side”. I’m sitting eating lunch when I feel a large hand on my right shoulder & I smell warm, vodka-tainted breath on my left. Rutger gently whispers to me, “We should start a band.”
— Tom Harjo (@Trexharjo) January 24, 2022
Yondu plus a big happy dog at breakfast. It doesn’t get any better.
— Neil (Don’t forget about the brunches!) Kaplan (@NeKap) January 25, 2022
And for all you die-hard pinkos out there, a fitting commentary on Marxism.
Don’t know if he qualifies, but I was driving Slavoj Žižek to Princeton University and I couldn’t find the exact address to drop him at, and he almost pissed himself in the back of my car. He was very vocal about it. “There is urine in my pants” in a deep Slovanian accent.
— I’m Capybatman (@GymVsTheVolcano) January 25, 2022