Bold statement 2k17: I hate Beyonce.
Before you release the BeyHive, LET ME EXPLAIN. I hate her because she’s so perfect. You know the feeling of which I speak: It bubbles up when you admire someone who’s so unreasonably talented that you can’t help but despise them with the burning fire of 1,000 suns. But also, you love them dearly. That is how I feel when I watch Beyonce dance. Even though I took dance classes for 13 years, was on my middle school Spirit Squad team (go Vikings), and was captain of my dance team in high school (go Red Devils), I was never that great of a dancer—I was passable, obviously, but it’s not like I’ll be backing up Justin Timberlake any time soon. (But I can do the Worm, so look out.) For me, watching Bey slay on stage while singing and also wearing impossibly high heels—a choice that always has me concerned she’s going to break an ankle or at least slip and fall but what am I even worrying about because she’s so light on her feet, like a fawn skipping atop snow without breaking its surface, that she’d never do something so clumsy—is the epitome of aspirational rage. Which is also how I feel whenever I watch Instagram videos posted by Millennium Dance Complex.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the Studio City studio—the 25-year-old institution is legendary. Acclaimed choreographers teach classes for all skill levels, but it’s also the sweaty cathedral in which Britney, JT, Usher, Christina, Janet, Demi, Selena, and, yes, Bey have all trained. Even if you haven’t heard of them per se, you’ve likely seen one of their videos on some form of social media (your Aunt Becky posted one on Facebook last week captioned “WOW!”). Small groups of dancers are framed against a blood-red wall decorated with the slogan UNITY IN DIVERSITY. Their performances are often filmed by cinematographer-slash-dancer Tim Milgram or other film industry folks like Ryan Parma. The resulting videos go viral nearly instantly (this one set to Missy Elliot’s “WTF” has more than 17 million views on YouTube to date) and are addictive—take it from someone who spent three hours in a MDC rabbit hole on Saturday, but know that someone is NOT me because I’m super cool and have a really busy, full life.
Or don’t take it from that person (again, not me) and watch a few videos below, then be grateful that Instagram doesn’t have its own version of Netflix’s judgy “Are you still watching?” prompt. Just be aware that you may come away with a new hatred for total strangers.