Sure, we look forward to good films each winter—but what we really look forward to is the annual Oscar class portrait, taken this year’s luncheon for nominees in Beverly Hills. What if Jessica Chastain blinks? What if Robert De Niro makes a weird face? (Oh wait, he is.) Who gets veto power here?
If you ever wondered what terrible teen movie stereotypes your favorite stars should play in High School Musical 4: The Oscar Edition, our casting recommendations are below. For the panoramic close-up, see here.
Anne Hathaway – Class President
Hugh Jackman – Football Quarterback
Naomi Watts – Prom Queen
Bradley Cooper – Spoiled Rich Kid
Amy Adams – Drama Club President
Joaquin Phoenix – Loner Poet
Jennifer Lawrence – Soccer Star
Kathryn Bigelow – Sexy Librarian
Steven Spielberg – Cool English Teacher
Tommy Lee Jones – Badass Vice Principal
Robert De Niro – Burned Out Gym Teacher