Don’t Worry, Liberals: Gavin McInnes is Sure His Twitter Ban is Forever

McInnes claims Twitter insiders say Elon Musk will permanently enforce bans on 5 percent of formerly exiled users on each side of the aisle

Within hours of SpaceX and Tesla honcho Elon Musk finally realizing his dream of ruling Twitter—and, perhaps, to see its leaders driven before him, and to hear the lamentations of the liberals—arch right-wingers from D.C. to Moscow have been begging the new Twitter tyrant to let their friends back on the social media monster. But Proud Boys and Vice founder Gavin McInnes says he knows he’ll never be allowed back in the garden, no matter who’s playing God now.

“I have insiders there who work there,” McInnes said Thursday on his Get Off My Lawn podcast on Censored.TV. “And I said, ‘So, uh, when he buys this, am I getting back on?’ And they’re like [shaking his head], ‘No. Never my friend. No.'”

His guest then asked, “What happened to free speech?”

That’s when McInnes—who was canceled from an appearance at Penn State this week because that’s college now—laid out what his sources say is Musk’s ultimate strategy for how to handle his newly-acquired prize after its former bosses banned many conservatives for reasons that many other conservatives (and some not-remotely-conservative observers) found capricious and arbitrary.

“Apparently, the plan is to allow ninety percent of the people back on,” McInnes said. However, that comes with an iron-clad caveat: “But five percent on the far right and five percent on the far left are never coming back no matter what.”

McInnes said he objected, telling his Twitter spies, “But I’m not far right!” To which they replied, “Well, that’s the perception, so that’s the reality.”

McInnes did find some solace, however, in the Thursday afternoon massacre by Musk of some top brass at the company, particularly the canning of Vijaya Gadde, the Twitter lawyer who made the decision to ban Donald Trump and censor mentions of Hunter Biden’s laptop.

“She’s the one who said I was banned because of hate speech,” McInnes recalled.

While Gadde and her fellow unwanted executives, CEO Parag Agrawal and Chief Financial Officer Ned Segal, apparently believe they will take Musk for golden parachutes worth a combined $122 million while they seek future employment, most of the world is just hungry to know who the ascending Twitter lord will welcome back into the mad halls of his tragic kingdom.

Accordingly, right-wingers are crowding their new liege with pity pleas on behalf of their wayward colleagues.

And, man oh man, are there sure some real winners in that pile.

At the same time, the liberal-leaning and somewhat famous have been announcing on Twitter their intention to leave Twitter now that it might not suit their every single belief. But we’re sure anyone who must hear the latest from Alex Winter (with all due respect to the pure joy of Freaked), Ken Olin, or Brian Koppelman will eventually know where to find them.

Attempting to calm the more timid element among advertisers, Musk promised on Thursday, “Twitter obviously cannot become a free-for-all hellscape, where anything can be said with no consequences!”

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