In his recently published memoir, Almost Interesting (HarperCollins), David Spade sells himself short (no pun intended). The 51-year-old comedian’s reputation alone—unrepentantly lambasting Eddie Murphy in a 1995 Saturday Night Live skit, cruising to Hollywood stardom with Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, making headlines for his (lady) killer instincts—puts him squarely at intriguing. Now, with the release of the western satire The Ridiculous Six (out December 11), he will be part of Netflix’s notable foray into original feature films. Six follows half a dozen orphaned brothers left to be raised by an Indian tribe. Spade portrays General Custer alongside a cast as laughable as the conceit (Vanilla Ice plays Mark Twain; Blake Shelton is Wyatt Earp). “I heard from people on Instagram that I looked better as General Custer than as myself,” Spade says. “I put a picture up a few seconds before I was told not to put any pictures up.” We wrangled his thoughts on covered wagons, cowboy fashion, and the Angeleno he’d rob a bank with.
Which L.A. historic figure could you take in a shoot-out?
Lucille Ball. I wouldn’t want to, but I’d do what I had to do to stay alive. I’d yell, “I’m a big fan!” first, and then she’d go down hard.
Let’s play an improv game: 185 lassos walk into a saloon. The bartender says, “We don’t serve lassos here.” And the lassos say…
“I’m afraid knot!”
Your face is on a wanted poster in L.A. What are you wanted for?
For telling stories that are too long. And for talking about myself on dates.
Assless chaps or boots with spurs?
There’s no guy who could pick assless chaps safely, so I would say boots with spurs. Those are sort of cool.
Area of L.A. you’d classify as the Wild West?
I get itchy when I go east of the Chick-fil-A on Highland. It’s uncharted territory. Even my Waze goes, “You sure you want to do this?”
Three comedians you’d cast in an all-female western?
Amy Schumer as the damsel in distress, Chelsea Handler will be the mean bad guy, and Jennifer Lawrence will be the sheriff.
John Wayne or Jon Lovitz?
Lovitz is in the movie! I guess John Wayne because I used to love him as a kid. Lovitz is probably funnier, though.
It’s rush hour on the 405. Would you rather travel by horse or covered wagon?
Covered wagon. But I would need one of those squishy seat things you get at football games because that wood—I don’t know if I could do it going over the hill.
I thought for sure you were going to say horse because, like a motorcycle, you could weave in and out of traffic.
No. I rode a horse when I was 25. It did not go well. The horse could tell I was a loser, and when they smell fear—that’s not my thing. But every girl loves them.
Whom would you hike to the Hollywood sign with: Butch Cassidy or the Sundance Kid?
That’s tough. I would take Paul Newman. He’s too cool.
Would you rather take your chances in frontier Los Angeles as Joe Dirt or your flight attendant character from SNL?
Joe Dirt. Flight attendant was real femmie, and they didn’t take to that well back then. They weren’t so easy about it, you know what I mean? They weren’t as cool about it as they are now.
Which Angeleno—dead or alive—would you choose as an outlaw partner in crime?
Lucille Ball—before I kill her. Everyone likes Lucy. And I wouldn’t tell her the plan I’m hatching.