In a Medium post published Monday, model and self-styled cool girl Chrissy Teigen apologized for being “a troll” on Twitter and for what she describes as tendency toward “meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor.”
In May, Teigen apologized via Twitter for frequently haranguing then-16-year-old Courtney Stodden about a decade earlier. In 2011, Stodden married 50-year-old actor Doug Hutchison and became an overnight tabloid sensation and a target of ridicule in the media and online. Tweets resurfaced by Stodden—who’s since come out as nonbinary—showed that Teigen had on more than one occasion wished them dead, including an October 2011 dispatch that read, “My Friday fantasy: you. dirt nap. mmmmmm baby.”
In the blog post, Teigen doesn’t mention Stodden or any other targets by name, but expresses regret for “hurting young women—some who were still girls.”
“In reality, I was insecure, immature and in a world where I thought I needed to impress strangers to be accepted. If there was a pop culture pile-on, I took to Twitter to try to gain attention and show off what I at the time believed was a crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities.
She continues, “Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core. I’ll honestly get sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my asshole past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after. I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women—some who were still girls—who had feelings. How could I not stop and think of that? Why did I think there was some invisible psycho-celebrity formula that prevents anyone with more followers from experiencing pain? How did I not realize my words were cruel? What gave me the right to say these things?”
Teigen credits aging, marriage, having kids, and lots of therapy with helping her become a more empathetic person.
In May, just prior to Teigen’s Twitter apology, Stodden told the Daily Beast that few of the people who treated them as a punching bag when they were a teen have reached out to express contrition.
“You know, one of the biggest surprises is that all of the celebrities who shamed me—other than Perez Hilton, who stood up and was kind—they have not sought to apologize or sent any kind of love my way,” they said. “The majority of love and apologies have come from reporters and also people online who tell me that they appreciate me and love me, and that I’m a source of strength for them. And that means everything to me.”
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