The 7 Stages We All Go Through When It Rains In L.A.

It’s such an emotional journey
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Stage 1: Unabashed Joy  
Rain. Yes. It’s going to rain. Pour down on me, cool sky water. Bathe my hands and face in your purity. Cover this blinking city in streaks and gloss and make all that is familiar new again.

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Stage 2: Sensible Concern
It will take twice as long to get to work. Oof. The dog hates going out when the grass is wet, and he never lets me wipe his paws. You just know all the Ubers will be surge-pricing. Is the sewer going to back up into the street again? Did I ever get that leak in the roof fixed? I MEAN. ARE WE EVEN READY FOR THIS!?!

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Stage 3: Extreme Discursion
You hear? It’s going to rain. Rain’s coming, everyone. I know you’re my bank teller, and we’ve never exchanged anything but banal pleasantries, but I feel compelled to discuss the impending precipitation with you in great detail. Mom, dad, yeah, rain. Lots of rain. So much rain. Status update: “It’s going to rain rain when it rains during the rainy rainstorm with rain. Rain!”

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Stage 4: Full Accessorization
Boots. Dark pants. Sweater cape. Water-repellant cotton raincoat. Cashmere tweed hat. Thermoplastic polyurethane-lined messenger bag. Oversized London fog bubble umbrella. Rubber waterproof phone case. Anti-glare polarized driving sunglasses (yellow). Ethical polyester dog slicker. For a mid-morning drizzle.

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Stage 5: Nostalgia
I miss it. You do, too? Where are you from? Yes, I love Chicago. Me? I’m from Ohio, but I’ve been here for two decades now. The sky cries, and our hearts open. We remember the past. We reconnect to with another part of the world, another time, another part of ourselves, which made us who we are.

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Stage 6: Ansel Adams
Wait. Wait. I need to get this shot. I have to get this.

Stage 7: Grief, Briefly (Griefly?)
The rain is gone. And it is missed. The water broke up our 64-and-sun days, and for a short while it thrilled us with its novelty, gave us a different perspective of our own city and brought a community of strangers together through a shared experience. While also somehow getting our cars dirtier, but that’s OK, because we love you, anyway, rain.

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