Now that he’s officially retired from The Tonight Show (for real this time), Jay Leno needs a new gig. We’re hoping for an Al Gore-style reinvention with a second career that’s more dynamic and interesting than his first. On last night’s farewell episode, a few old friends—Steve Carrell, Matt Damon—sent career suggestions to Jay via video. We have our own ideas.
5. Crossing Guard
On of Jay’s best Tonight Show skits was Jaywalking, in which the lantern-jawed host stopped pedestrians and asked them current events questions. We watched with a mix of horror and schadenfreude at the average Joe’s (or Josie’s) lack of basic knowledge. Jay could easily parlay his easygoing style as a curbside comedian—and protector of the people.
4. Denim Designer
No one rocks the Canadian tuxedo like Jay. Off-set you’ll usually find Jay in his uniform of denim-on-denim. We’re not talking stylish, dark wash, selvedge jeans, we’re talking high-waisted, medium blue “dad jeans.” Sure, SNL has the lock on “mom jeans” but Leno could pioneer the masculine version. If near-future Los Angeles looks anything like it does in Her, all you gents will be wearing high-waisted pants pretty soon. Here’s a way for Jay to get in on the ground floor of a fashion trend.
3. Waiter at The Rock Store
The Rock Store, a greasy spoon on Mulholland, is a favorite destination for bikers of all stripes. You’ll often find Jay, a prominent motorcycle enthusiast, hanging out there. He’s always seemed like a man of the people. He could pull a shift here and there while donating all tips to his favorite charity.
2. Motorcycle Czar
Speaking of bikes, maybe Jay could convince mayor Eric Garcetti to appoint him as L.A.’s motorcycle czar. We have a bike czar, an anti-gang czar, a film czar (Tom Sherak, who recently passed away, is remembered here by Amy Wallace), and as of this week, a tech czar. Why not a motorcycle czar? Even if the position is largely ceremonial, he would be a fun addition to City Hall.
1. Parking App designer
Little-known fact: Jay hates valet parking his vehicles. Maybe he’s worried his vintage autos will get scratched or maybe, like us, he hates shelling out the dough. Either way Kari Mozena, our associate editor and official social butterfly, tells us that Jay almost never valet parks his car. If he partnered up with a tech firm to create a mobile app that told riders where to park to avoid paying for valets (especially in Century City!), he’d be doing humanity a service. He’d also rocket to the top of many Angelenos’ most popular list.