10 Names That Would Have Been Better Than tronc

No need to pay us a consulting fee, we’re just glad to help
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Tribune Company announced they’re renaming themselves tronc, an unsettling combination of TRibune ONline Content. With all of the current backlash, we wanted to throw some of our ideas out there, in case there was some wiggle room for change:

1. skort

2. #omg #wetotallygetyoumillennials #goals #lolz #SEEHOWWEGETYOU #WHYWONTYOULOVEME!??1!?!!
(Note: can be shortened to #owgls for ease and maximum opacity which equals coolness)

3. YASSSKWEEN

4. shpoopl
(Pure gibberish. Still better)

5. SPQR
(But not, like, the initialism for Senatus Populesque Romanus that appeared on ancient Roman currency. It’s actually a youthy, vowel-less anagram of SPORK. Youths love sporks. Hate vowels)

6. kevin

7.Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 11.44.14 AM

8. @troncXXraverchick69
(this will also serve as their official Twitter handle since an online media company DIDN’T SECURE THEIR SOCIAL HANDLES BEFORE ANNOUNCING THEIR NEW NAME TO THE FREE WORLD)

9. vape

10. LWIHR’GOI[OJOOGJLFGSLK’FSG[9II9UR3U58U089I9PRIHDNJLK
(Literally just placed my dog on the keyboard)