We’re NOT Going to Need a Bigger Boat


Driving to Malibu on Sunday I was crawling (lots of beachgoers) on PCH and watching two dolphins pop in and out of the waves, when I couldn’t help but notice an extraordinary looking machine in the water parked near the Malibu Pier. I almost hit the car in front of me staring as it looked like a fancy, white submarine was emerging from the sea. Some people watch the news, I just ask around at the Malibu Country Mart. Turns out it was just Russian Billionaire Andrey Melnichenko’s Phillippe Stark designed yacht – $300/$400 mil depending where you look – idling in the ‘Bu. The gals at Canyon Beachwear told me he’s 38. He is. They said he was a mathematician. Check. As I stopped to try to get a snap of the boat with the other numerous looky loos, a fella with a fancy camera told me Melnichenko owns the New Jersey Nets. Turns out that is a different Russian billionaire, Mikhail Prokhorov. Uncheck. As I started to take off my shoes to swim out to meet the man anyway, some ladies told me not to bother. They said he was married to a supermodel (Aleksandra Nikolic Melnichenko). Turns out they are right. Christina Aguilera and Beyonce sang at their wedding. The back of the white, Captain Nemo-esque vehicle began to open as I hopped back into my car. A little, speck of a boat jetted out from the larger one. I should have stayed. I don’t care what anyone says. I’m sure he was coming out to meet me.

Photograph courtesy sailboats.wordpress.com