Weary of ‘All this Bullshit,’ Howard Stern Mulls Presidential Run

Stern, who some still hail as “King of All Media,” stated that he is “not fucking around” in considering a run for the White House in 2024
291

While running for president of the United States is not as dignified as emceeing Butt-Bongo Fiesta or as culturally significant as creating Crucified by the FCC or superhero Fartman, radio legend Howard Stern said that he will consider doing it for the sake of a troubled nation.

“I’m actually going to probably have to run for president now,” Stern, 68, told listeners to his eponymous SiriusXM satellite radio show Monday, The Hill reports.

The Long Island native who was raised by very progressive parents said he was moved to action by the Supreme Court’s decision Friday to overturn Roe v. Wade. Although Stern has dabbled in politics before, he cautioned that this time “if I do run for president—and I’m not fucking around, I’m really thinking about it—because the only other thing I’m going to do is appoint five more Supreme Court justices.”

Stern—who dubbed himself “King of All Media” in the 1990s, as he had written bestsellers Private Parts, which became a classic movie of the decade, and Miss America—pointed out that three of the six Supreme Court justices who voted to end women’s federal right to abortion were appointed by a man who had once been a close a friend (or at least an entertaining great radio guest) and is now a bitter enemy:

“These appointed judges by Trump were appointed by a president who lost the popular vote by 3 million votes. This is where we get into trouble.”

Howard Stern as Fartman during the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles. (Photo by Frank Micelotta/ImageDirect)

The way to prevent further Supremes like Amy Coney Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch was common sense, the somewhat-mellowed former shock jock and “Lesbian Dating Game” host said. In order to achieve a more perfect nation, or at least one that more accurately reflects the will of that nation in presidential elections, Stern said, “I am going to do the very simple thing that’ll set the country straight: one vote, one person. No more Electoral College. I’m getting rid of it.”

Stern added, “The problem with most presidents is they have too big of an agenda. The only agenda I would have is to make the country fair again.”

Stern—also the former host of popular radio skit “Guess Who’s the Jew” with perennial champ “Kurt Waldheim Jr.,” played by longtime Stern show member Fred Norris—took particular issue with longest-serving Justice Thomas, describing the 74-year-old jurist as “sitting there like Darth Vader, dormant [and] waiting for other kooks to join the Supreme Court.”

Stern is not unfamiliar with politics. In 1993, New Jersey gubernatorial candidate Christine Todd Whitman promised to name a rest stop after him if he backed her campaign, which he did. The she won, and fulfilled her obligation, but Gov. Jim McGreevey had it closed in 2003 for reasons which remain unclear.

Stern also ran for New York governor on the Libertarian Party ticket in 1994, but pulled out of the race rather than disclose his finances.

Now, Stern promises, if he does make the leap, he’s all in.

“I’m not afraid to do it,” he said. “As soon as I become president, you’re gonna get five new Supreme Court justices that are going to overturn all this bullshit.”


Stay on top of the latest in L.A. food and culture. Sign up for our newsletters today.