The Wednesday Afternoon Cram, 2/8/12

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Everything you need to know from today’s front pages

Rick Santorum Sweeps Minnesota, Colorado, and Missouri Primaries
Despite personal experience with extreme name calling, he punctuated his win by calling Mitt Romney “Mr. Private Sector.”
[LA Times

Meanwhile… 

Mitt Romney Glitter Bombed in Denver
He is expected to make a full recovery.
[New York

Miramonte Elementary Has All New Staff
Ant, meet anvil.
[Daily News

Patrick Soon-Shiong to Join One of the Teams Bidding on the Dodgers
L.A.’s richest man is playing Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Bidder.
[LA Times

“Poster Couple” for Gay Marriage Announce Plans to Divorce
Hey, it’s officially their legal right.
[NBC LA]