The Friday Afternoon Cram, 112/16/11

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Everything you need to know from a sampling of today’s front page

Rick Perry Compares Himself to Tim Tebow During Debate
His Hail Mary is an actual football reference. First down!
[LA Times

Barry Bonds Sentenced to House Arrest
He’ll be home for Christmas.
[NY Times

6 Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac Execs Charged With Fraud
They could be forced to pay fines and penalties. And you thought everybody involved in the collapse of our economy was going to get off scot-free.
[ABC News

Vladimir Putin Plastic Surgery Rumors Swirl
He’s “looking less stressed these days.” Curious!
[People

Britney Spears is Engaged
It’s Britney and Jason forever, bitch!
[USA Today]

 

Christopher Hitchens Dies at 62.

R.I.P., Hitch.

[NBC LA]