Metro’s Tardy Slips Are the New Doctor’s Note

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According to extremely unscientific data that we spent absolutely no time gathering, the Angeleno’s number one excuse for being late is getting caught in traffic. The reason why it’s an impregnable defense is that no one dares contest it. We all know that the [insert highway here] can turn into a soul-crushing test of will at any time of day; if you get in the shower at 8:15 p.m. even though the dinner reservation is at 8:30 p.m., you can still blame the lack of open road when you waltz in at 9:15 without nary a sideways glance from your companions. Which is all fine and good for those of us who drive, but what about our friends who take public transit? We car people are not as familiar with the inner workings of the Metro as we are with traffic patterns, so attempting to make a case for a late train might not fly (we can hear the snide retort now—“Uh, aren’t trains on schedules?”). The Metro is trying to change that.

According to KPCC, passengers who are delayed due to wire damage, power system issues, or any other type of malfunction can now put in a request to Metro for a note of exoneration—perfect for iron-fisted bosses or strict teachers. Simply call the Metro’s customer relations hotline and request a form where you’ll detail the date, direction, and transit line of the tardy trip in question. Once the delay is verified, Metro will provide a written excuse printed (or emailed) on official letterhead. Now all we need is for the LAPD to write up such a thing after they pull us over for speeding—all in the name of trying to be on time.