Soylent Green is Made Out Of…

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I’ve had plenty of tofu and tempeh on my plate over the years, but no soy is quite like the new Soylent Green available from the Parallax Corporation. This stuff is great. Charlton Heston had it all wrong, Soylent Green is not made out of people. The product, inspired by the 1973 film, is a delicious blend of malted barley flour, buttermilk and “high energy plankton.” Hmm, it does say “people food” on the box… Well, either way it will soon be available at Golden Apple on Melrose and Dark Delicacies in Burbank and you can try it yourself. Comments from my samplers included: “Yikes!”, “These aren’t really toxic, are they?”, “Grassy…with a hint of humanity” and “I’ll be eating like that next week – I’m going on a cleanse.”  I’m looking forward to tasting the company’s other products: Stay Puft marshmallows and Tru Blood beverages.