Elon Musk Investigated for Potentially Illegal Sleepovers at Twitter HQ

San Francisco is investigating to ensure Elon Musk isn’t forcing pajama parties on Twitter workers in violation of housing codes, decency
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Tired Twitter Commander Elon Musk abhors employees working from home… But he’s apparently super psyched to have them crashing at Twitter headquarters in San Francisco if it helps cut corners in running the oily social media company he probably never meant to buy in the first place.

Typically, on-site worker dormitories are a feature of developing countries, but Musk has reportedly ordered his remaining workers to go “extremely hardcore” if they want to keep their jobs, and bunking up with one’s fellow pixel-eyed drones is part of the deal, as far as Musk is allegedly concerned.

Two sources told Forbes that conference rooms were serving as sleepy-time zones in Musk’s San Fran HQ, and that these nocturnal stations are hardly the stuff one would expect from the world’s most moneyed crybaby. Rather, the accommodations are “modest bedrooms featuring unmade mattresses, drab curtains and giant conference-room telepresence monitors.”

Cozier spaces, a photo of which was shared with Forbes, “showed bright orange carpeting, a wooden bedside table and what appears to be a queen bed, replete with a table lamp and two office armchairs.” Perhaps one must share their mushed lima beans with weirdo Elon before gaining access to that level of comfort.

One source reported that the makeshift bedrooms arrived without comment or “context… Just, like, beds showed up.” It is unclear how many beds there are, although one source estimated four to eight per floor.

We would guess it’s time for a slumber party and ask who’s up for pizza, if Musk wasn’t so relentlessly tedious at this point.

Fortunately for the remaining humans, San Francisco says it’s checking out Musk’s alleged attempt to a create a forever-prison for the workers not lucky enough to be fired in his initial purge of half the company’s employees. To that end, building inspectors have been nosing into the sleeping nooks to see if they violate building code, Forbes further reports.

“We need to make sure the building is being used as intended,” said Patrick Hannan, the communications director for the Department of Building Inspection, said in a statement. “There are different building code requirements for residential buildings, including those being used for short-term stays.”

Musk responded as you might expect: “So city of SF attacks companies providing beds for tired employees instead of making sure kids are safe from fentanyl,” he wrote on Twitter in a post aimed at the San Francisco Mayor. “Where are your priorities @LondonBreed?” The incident he was referring to, without any class, was a 10 month-old baby suffering an accidental but non-fatal overdose at a local park.

It seems Breed decided someone else could respond to the ever-growing and evermore dismal mumblings of one who thought he was japing when he bought the world’s biggest joke.

Sleeping in the office is obviously how Musk thinks one solves problems, anyway. In a now-deleted tweet from November 14, he wrote, “I’ve been at Twitter SF HQ all night. Will be working and sleeping at the office until the org is fixed.”

To which many may have silently wondered: Gas stove, Lonno?

Musk has also boasted of sleeping on the factory floor of Tesla when trying to launch the Model 3, but did not get his head run over.

Last month, after laying down his Thanos Snap upon half his mistakenly-purchased company, Musk issued a decree demanding that anyone who intended to stay on with “Twitter 2.0” had to be “to be extremely hardcore.”

Specifically, he said, “Going forward, to build a breakthrough Twitter 2.0 and succeed in an increasingly competitive world, we will need to be extremely hardcore. This will mean working long hours at high intensity. Only exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade.”

Musk gave the recipients until 5 p.m. the next day to accept his terms. He was largely told to go enjoy himself alone—leaving Musk with fewer hardcore workers, but also fewer beds to supply, and apparently a smaller and smaller circle of unfortunates he can dragoon into being his late night pals as more and more people grow, quite simply, so sick of this dude.


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