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Take Our Pop Quiz: Deep Thoughts on Jack Handey's Debut Book

Do these deep thoughts come from Jack Handey or from history?

It’s hard to believe that Jack Handey is a real person. Even Handey himself sometimes wonders, posting a poll on his website that asks, “Is there a real Jack Handey?” The very real Handey is a humorist and writer who worked for 17 years at Saturday Night Live where he created Toonces the Driving Cat. His other enduring contribution to culture is Deep Thoughts, short observations about daily life that mix the surreal with the banal.

Handey recently released his first full length book, The Stench Of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure, a lowbrow mashup of Don Quixote and Candide that follows a man of questionable intelligence as travels to Hawaii. Along the way, the, erm, hero finds friends, romance, and trouble. No bit of Handey handiwork would be complete without ruminations on life’s idiosyncrasies. We mixed excerpts from the book with quotes from famous thinkers. Can you spot the Handey from the historic? (Answers at the bottom of the post.)

1. “Humans are evolving into a higher form and a lower form at the same time. Confused? Then guess which one you are.”

2. “I hate women because they always know where things are.”

3. “Maybe he was evil, but without evil people in the world, how could there be people like me?”

4. “As an elephant in the battlefield withstands arrows shot from bows all around, even so shall I endure abuse.” 

5. “Why is it that nobody understands me, yet everybody likes me?”

6. “What kind of world was this, where you look and look for your other shoe, and when you finally find it no one seems that happy?” 

7. “Once I dreamed of being an astronaut but they told me I needed some “training.” Oh, well, let’s all go get some “training.” What a perfect world that would be.” -Jack Handey

8. “A skeleton is more afraid of you than you are of him.”

9. “Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched.”

10. “Lost time is never found again.” 

Scroll down for answers.














1. Jack Handey
2. Voltaire
3. Jack Handey
4. Buddha
5. Albert Einstein (quoted in a New York Times interview, March 12,1944)
6. Jack Handey
7. Jack Handey
8. Jack Handey
9. Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
10. Benjamin Franklin