Mr. Ed wouldn’t make the cut. Only the finest breeds are allowed at the 56th Annual Portuguese Bend National Horse Show, an equine extravaganza that showcases deft riders, challenging courses, and family activities like crafts and puppet shows.
Sure, we love the stunts and the age-old riding techniques, but secretly, don’t we all just want a talking horse? As a kid, every time we would get a free weekend of cable television, we would get a VHS tape and record as many movies as we could before our television returned to it’s normal, sucky state. One of our favorite finds was Hot to Trot starring Bobcat Goldthwait as a yuppie investment banker who can hear the wisecracks of a horse named Don, voiced by the late, great John Candy. Seeing all the gorgeous equines that’ll be featured at the lavish event made us long for the 1980s. Back then, any movie could get funding, distribution, a score by Danny Elfman--and talking horses. Sure, Pixar can make cars, planes, and kind of sexy iPods talk, but there’s something magical about someone putting peanut butter into a horse’s mouth.
If you yearn for a talking horse, maybe you can find your own Don at this event. Just start talking to every equine you see and maybe one will give you a knowing wink, a swirly tail spin, or a double hoof stomp that means they know exactly what you mean. Ride it down the 405 and enjoy your new BFF.
Ernie Howlett Park: September 6 - 8, pcch.net/index.php/horseshow/.