For too long now I find myself looking outside to the valet line to see if there are any horsedrawn buggies at every party I go to. Is this an Amish celebration? Are we raising a barn? I mean, what’s with all the guys sporting closely cropped haircuts and long beards? They are everywhere. They are sipping muddled cocktails. They are bidding on expensive art at auctions. I feel I need to lay the blame on the chin of whiskered comedy darling Zach Galifianakis. His success bred a new kind of mullet: it’s business on top and a hoedown in front. In his next flick (The Campaign) he shaves his scruff down to a mustache. I really hope it’s a hit. Because the way this trend is hanging on, I’m afraid the next step in beard manscaping is going to be topiaries.

[Photograph courtesy of Shutterstock.]