10. The jet-setting bar at Finn McCool’s (2702 Main St., Santa Monica, 310-452-1734). The pub once lived in Dublin before it was packed up and resurrected in Santa Monica. Expect drinking songs from Irish musicians such as Slugger O’Toole (above) or any of the house bands (hopefully you like the lute).
9. The deliciously greasy burgers at Molly Malone’s (575 S. Fairfax Ave., L.A., 323-935-1577). In the 43 years since the place opened, the signature sandwich has been made the same way, with too-drippy cheese and hand-pressed patties, long before that was cool. Portraits of regulars lining the walls have been there since the ’60s, too.
8. Nostalgia for green puke. It’s been at least a year since you last saw it, and oddly, you miss it.
7. A block party (613 S. Grand Ave., downtown, 213-629-2353). The street outside the historic Casey’s will be closed for a massive Pershing Square-adjacent Saint Paddy’s Day fete, with booze, live music, and no doubt a few hundred crazy people in face paint—basically Occupy L.A., the Sequel.
6. Guaranteed fondling if you wear only blue.
5. The waitresses’ leg-baring kilts at Dillon’s (6263 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, 323-315-9744).
4. The hope that Tom Bergin’s (840 S. Fairfax Ave., Mid Wilshire, 323-936-7151) is throwing open its doors. The duo behind Little Dom’s was cleaning up the joint (while leaving the character intact). Hooray for shamrocks and Irish coffee.
3. A $38 shot of cask-strength Old Masters Peated at Seven Grand (515 W. 7th St., downtown, 213-614-0736). Order this or any of the more than two dozen Irish whiskeys at this fancy shrine to whiskey (and taxidermy).
2. The traditional Irish menu, complete with bangers and mash, at McG’s Pub (21356 Devonshire St., Chatsworth, 818-734-7056). Where else but in the Valley can you find a breakfast that sounds like a porn movie?
1. Your third (or fourth or fifth or tenth) Guinness. Nobody’s judging you. (Except maybe this guy.)
Photographs courtesy Shutterstock