1. Breast implants make a great going-away gift for your college-bound daughter. Be sure to refer to them as her “moneymakers.”
2. Nothing cements a female friendship like facial fillers.
3. You haven’t really made it until you have your own in-house “laser spa.”
4. Do not stop spray tanning your body until you’ve achieved the perfect teak stain.
5. “Divorce” is actually spelled R-E-S-T-Y-L-A-N-E.
6. When you’re angry at your fellow wives (which of course you always are), be sure to announce “I’m
angry!” so they’re aware of it, in case your face is too full of injectables to show it.
7. Throwing your staff a Botox office party isn’t considered harassment. Phew!