Photo-illustration by COMRADE
The aesthetic roshambo of knives-needles-sutures is a game primarily played by women, but men are getting sucked into select procedures—usually when they can’t suck it in (or grow it back or exercise it off) anymore. Here’s a roundup of guy-specific procedures.
As yet there is no ideal solution for male hair loss, but with this procedure at least, you can grow your own. Follicular unit extraction harvests hair from the back of the head (which is usually where it’s last to go) and essentially replants the follicles into sparser areas to promote growth (think pricey Chia pet). It’s a pain-staking process, but the results are believed to be better than those produced by plugs.
A recent addition to the list of male woes is that sinking Titanic of a jawline. This explains in part why chin implants are becoming increasingly popular.
A pair of silicone cutlets are the solution for chicken legs to balance out overall body proportion.
Gynecomastia—excess fat in the chest area (aka “man boobs”)—develops during puberty and in some cases sticks around into adulthood. Corrective surgery is usually performed on men in their twenties or thirties, but because of the social stigma, it’s seldom discussed.
First there was the Mommy Makeover; now there’s the Daddy Do-Over. The promise of six-pack abs has made liposuction one of the top male procedures.
Consider this treatment the earnest answer to “How’s it hanging?”