I’m the anti-Wallace. Unlike my colleague, I am inching up on 40, out of shape, and without a trainer. Still, after breaking my ankle, moving halfway across the country, and completing my first year in a busy job as photo editor of Los Angeles, I’ve finally stopped hoping I can pray the pounds away. Herewith, a few lessons learned from having dragged my butt back to the gym:
Problem #1: Like the rest of the population, Angelenos suffer under the delusion that everyone in town looks like the beautiful people in Beverly Hills Cop. Trust me, there are plenty of people in town who have good reason to yearn to be slimmer.
Solution: Don’t let the stereotypes keep you locked in the house.
Problem #2: All workout clothes are made for skinny people. I don’t know why. Do they figure no woman bigger than a size 8 works out? How can I “Just Do It” if I have to get outfitted by Tarp City?
Solution: Head to the Citadel Outlets (citadeloutlets.com) and shop in the men’s section at Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour.
Problem #3: There are always annoying chicks in any exercise class. The ones who stand in front of the mirror before the instructor comes in, idly practicing the moves they learned at ballet when they were nine.
Solution: While it may be tempting to spike their smartwater, just roll your eyes and sweat in the back.