Sometimes less really is more. Save the shoulder-touching intimacies for people you actually know.
Stop asking “Have you eaten here before? Do you know how the menu works?” Small plates. Not-so-small prices. Understood.
It’s a restaurant, not a CrossFit class. No need to squat beside the table; we can tilt our heads a few inches to meet your gaze.
Acting lessons have honed your memory, but don’t be so cool you can’t write down our order. It only makes forgotten items even more galling.
And while everyone craves validation, we’d prefer getting ours from a therapist or a pet, not a server who randomly tells us “Great choice!”
Illustrations by Daniel Krall